In the fall and winter I usually swim in the pool at our local high school. One evening I arrived a bit early and was heading for the locker room when I saw a young man sitting on the bench outside the pool. His mother was coaxing him to put on his suit and to join the other children for the children’s swimming hour. He just hung his head and shook it, to indicate his refusal.

Both my granddaughter and grandniece, often bring a friend along as company for a stay with us at the Cape. I am always interested to observe the friends behavior at the dinner table. Sometimes the friend will wait politely until everyone is served before picking up her knife or fork. When this happens I know that she will, at the end of the meal, politely ask to be excused from the table.

We usually think of chores as only appropriate for school age children. But even young children can benefit from doing needed tasks around the house.

For young children to benefit from chores, however, two conditions have to be met:

1. the chores themselves have to be within the child’s range of abilities

2. the chores should build upon the child’s own motivations and not just upon the promise of rewards

Are empathy and morality learned or hard-wired in children? A recent University of Chicago study sought to answer this question. Seventeen six to twelve year old children were the subjects of the study. The children were wired for a brain scan, MRI (magnetic resonance imaging) and shown pictures of people experiencing pain produced either accidentally or intentionally.

While visiting our niece and her children over the Memorial Day weekend, I observed a familiar phenomenon. My niece has three children but there is also an older cousin Halley who lives nearby and who is often playing with Stella Blue, the oldest of my niece’s three girls. Until the baby, Willow, was born, Raven, now the middle child, was always excluded from the play of Halley and Stella Blue. Her efforts to be included in their play were simply rebuffed.