My granddaughter Heather, when she was two, became attached to a cloth bear, which she called, “Bear-bear.” Bear-bear went with her everywhere including a visit to us on Cape Cod. Unfortunately she left Bear-bear unguarded where our dog Remy could get to it. I guess he became attached to it as well, because he bit off one of its ears. We thought Heather would be devastated, but she was relieved when my wife offered to sew the ear back on. Which she did. But some damage was done and the ear went on at a rakish angle. But Heather was happy and that is all that matters. She is five now, and gave up Bear-bear before our last visit. She did so on her own when she was ready to carry on without him.

There are several theories as to why it is so common for young children to attach to warm cuddly things which they may cling to for years. One theory was that children who are poorly attached to their mothers will use the cuddly doll or blanket as a substitute. A number of years ago Robert Passman did a study to test the theory (Passman 1987). He found no support for this explanation. Indeed, he found no relationship between the strength of the mother-child bond and the child’s passion for the doll or blanket. What he did find was that children who were insecurely attached to their mothers, but securely attached to their doll or blanket, seemed to adjust better to an anxiety producing situation than were children who were securely attached to their mothers. For these children, the presence of the security object promoted play, exploration and non-distress in their mother’s absence.

Another theory which may well help to explain these results was offered by famed English pediatrician/psychiatrist, Donald Winnicott (Winnicott 1953). Very briefly, Winnicott argued that the security doll or blanket serves as a means of dealing with the infant’s separation from the mother. In effect it served as a substitute, or as Winnicott labeled it, a transitional object.

Transitional objects give the child the time to build up the necessary intellectual and emotional tools to cope successfully with the separation. After that restorative work is done, the child will give up the transitional object on his or her own. Transitional objects are used at later times in life as well. After a divorce or break up of a long time relationship, for example, many adults, most often men, immediately find another relationship—regardless of its goodness of fit to their personalities.

From this perspective, and it is supported by the research reported above, the security blanket is a healthy way of dealing with a very painful life experience. When children are sufficiently mature, they will give it up on their own. There is no good reason to take it away from them before they choose to do so, and a very good reason to leave them have it until they are ready to give it up.

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Passman, R.H. (1987). Attachments to inanimate objects: Are children who have security blankets insecure? Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 55, 825-830.

Winnicott, D. W. (1953). "Transitional objects and transitional phenomena: A study of the first 'not me'." Int. J. Psycho-Anal.