During the second six months of life the baby begins to sleep for longer periods, but still may wake up during the night. This may reflect the fact that she is developing, and trying to practice in their sleep, new skills such as crawling, standing and coordinating, eyes and hands. This wakes her up. But it can also be due to the infant’s construction of the mother as a permanent object who continues to exist when she is no longer present to the infant’s senses. This new concept gives rise to the baby’s strong attachment to the mother and to stranger anxiety and separation anxiety. Both can contribute to the baby’s reluctance to go to sleep and her waking in the middle of the night. Again infants vary a good deal in this regard, but waking at night towards the end of the first year is a common occurrence.

By the last quarter of the first year and into the second, it is not necessary to rush to the baby when she cries. At this stage the baby needs to learn to handle a certain amount of stress. By the end of the first year, the infant can tolerate a little bit of anxiety and panic, and it is healthy for her to learn to do so. For example, after feeding if the baby is left alone and fidgets and cries, this will usually die down after a few moments. This is true at bed time as well. The cries and protests after the bedtime rituals have been gone through will quiet of themselves if you do not rush in the moment the baby acts up. Of course if the baby goes into a real panic, it is necessary to go in and reassure her. But it is often enough to speak to the baby in a comforting tone and to pat her softly. It is really not necessary to pick the baby up and hold her and rock her or try to feed her or to entertain her. You don’t want to reinforce this soothing behavior by making it so rewarding the baby will do it for the rewards rather than because she is upset.

While it may be tempting, particularly if you are exhausted, to take the baby into your bed, this is probably not a good idea at least from your point of view. From the baby’s point of view it is a capital idea and a good reason for her to cry once she is put back into her own bed. Once they have had the experience of sleeping with you, they can get really upset if you don’t do it again. In general then as the baby gets older, she needs to learn to tolerate separation and other social stresses. She learns this best if we respond to her distress, with some comforting responses. But at this stage, towards the end of the first year, the general rule is that less is more than enough.

Read Sleep Issues - Birth to Six Months