In a recent Time Magazine article, Nancy Gibbs (Gibbs 2009) describes what she calls the “backlash” against over-parenting. This is a subject we have covered in earlier blogs, particularly in the blog reviewing the book, Free Range Kids. Gibbs argues that Free Range Kids, is but one of many different kinds of parental revolts against hyper parenting and these include “slow” parenting and “simplicity” parenting. The themes of the backlash include the ideas that “less is more,” that “hovering” is dangerous and that “failure is fruitful.” She summarizes the heart of the revolt in this way. “You really want your children to succeed? Learn when to leave them alone. When you lighten up they will fly higher. We’re often the ones who hold them down.”

Ironically, the current recession has helped to stimulate the over-parenting revolt. Gibbs cites a CBS poll which found that a third of parents have cut their children’s extracurricular activities. These parents not only cut back, they downsized, simplified their lives and spent more time with their children—rather than shipping them off to lessons or putting them in organized sports. And they found that they really like the new arrangement. Similarly, in a Times poll, taken last spring, four times as many people said their relationships had gotten better rather than worse. Gibbs claims that parents are finally waking up to the fact that over protecting and over scheduling is doing more harm than good to both themselves and their children.

Of course many of us have been talking about this problem for many years. I published The Hurried Child more that a quarter century ago, talking about the stresses of hurrying. And we are seeing the results. Gibbs describes high school teachers who received text messages from parents protesting an exam grade even before the class was over. College deans describe many of today’s freshmen as “crispies,” who arrive at college already burnt out. I have met with Headmasters of exclusive private schools, who tell me that when a child is in trouble, they don’t see the parents, but rather the family lawyer.

As an academic, my colleagues and I have little chance against the multi-million dollar advertising budgets of the many companies that feed over-parenting to sell products. It is really fascinating that what is taking to wake parents up to the craziness of over-parenting is the recession. I guess good can come from bad. For parents who want support in combating parental pressures to join them in their over-programming and over-scheduling, Gibbs suggests going to the many websites where parents can confess, confide and confirm their own experiences with over-parenting. Maybe at last the fog is lifting over childrearing.

------------------
Gibbs, N. (2009). "The Growing Backlash Against Overparenting."; Time Magazine.