The Center for Health Statistics reports that the number of women over forty who are having children has doubled over the last thirty years. In many ways this finding reflects the many changes in women’s roles over the last three decades as well as improved health and increased longevity. But it also reflects changing life styles. With many more women pursuing full time careers than was true in the past, childrearing is often put on hold until a career is well established. In addition, some couples want to take time for travel about the world before they have children who will keep them at home. It is also true that both men and women are marrying at a later age and some couples may not marry until their late thirties. These and other considerations account for the increased number of New Mature Moms in our society.

Like most choices in life, the decision to have a child during the fourth or fifth decade of life has both risks and benefits. Mature moms are at greater risk than are younger mothers of having a miscarriage or a child with a chromosomal abnormality such as Down syndrome. On the other hand older mothers tend to be in good physical condition, well educated, avid readers and healthy eaters. In addition, mature mothers bring a greater self confidence to their childrearing and are less influenced by parental peer pressure to engage in over scheduling and over-programming. On the other hand, they may be a little more likely than younger mothers, to over intellectualize their interactions with their young children.

Parenting always presents challenges, and those faced by Mature Moms are simply different from those younger moms confront. Not the least of these challenges is the unthinking comments of other parents. These range from mistaking the Mature Mom as the grandparent, to asking whether the baby was an accident, or was it achieved by IVF. A common question is “Aren’t you tired?” Mature Moms need to develop a thick skin. On the other hand, the rewards for both Mature Moms and their children are great. Because the Mature Mom has a better established sense of self, she is better able than a younger mom, to distinguish between her needs and those of her child. In addition, if the couple has been married for awhile, most of the issues as to who does what have been worked out and are not a source of parental conflict that can interfere with healthy childrearing.

The bottom line, from my point of view as a child psychologist, is “Does the New Mature Mom do a good job of parenting?” And the answer to that question is overwhelmingly yes. And that is the only question, and the only answer, that really matters.