This Memorial Day weekend we went to the Hudson Valley to attend our niece’s graduation from Marist College. Marist sits right on the bank of the Hudson with beautiful views across the river to the magnificent Catskill Mountains. It was a warm, sunny day and the ceremony was held on a huge quad sloping down to the river. When we arrived at the college our niece’s three daughters were there to greet us. Stella Blue is five, Raven is three and Willow is just one. In most cases ceremonies like this are really not for little children. At my university, Tufts, for example, there is a tiny quad, chairs are close together and there is very little room in the aisles. Young children are full of energy and very active; there is just no room for them to run around at most graduations.

But Marist was different, we were at the top of the huge sloping quad, the chairs were far apart and there was plenty of grassy space for the kids to run around and even roll down the hill. So they kept themselves busy throughout the ceremony. This good behavior was aided and abetted by our niece’s husband, who brought along plenty of healthy snacks and water, and who was able to take them to the toilet, conveniently in the library near where we were staying. One thing that kept them busy during the reading of the graduate’s names was the body of a dead bird that had fallen from the roof of the library.

The Marist campus is very spread out and they arranged to have shuttle buses and golf carts to take the families of the graduates to and from the parking areas. Going back, my niece her husband and the children boarded a golf cart to take them to their car. The children were thrilled as they drove away and we waved goodbye to them.

All of this is to say that the exception proves the rule. In general young children are really not well suited for long drawn out ceremonies such as graduations. This event was special of course, because it was their mother who was graduating. Even so, in a more confining environment, they would have been a handful. Many times we take young children to these events because we think it will provide them with a lasting memory of what seems so important to us. More often than not, however, we mistake what we think might be significant for young children for what really stays in their memory. I am sure that for Stella Blue, Raven and perhaps Willow, the most memorable part of the whole event was finding the dead bird and riding to their car in the golf cart.