In the June 29, 2009 issue of The New Yorker Jill Lepore (Lepore 2009) reviews two recent books on parenting in her article: Baby Talk, The Fuss About Parenthood. One is Home Game: An Accidental Guide to Fatherhood by Michael Lewis (Lewis 2009) and Bad Mother: A Chronicle of Maternal Crimes, Minor Calamities and Moments of Grace by Ayalet Waldman (Waldman 2009). Lepore uses these books as a take off point to attack the concept of parenthood which she suggests is simply an advertising gimmick not unlike “Tweens.” She attributes the invention of parenthood to Clara Savage Littledale, the first editor of Parent’s Magazine. She argues that Littledale used Parent’s magazine to promote the idea that parents were inept at raising children and that they needed the expert advice provided by the magazine to do an effective job of parenting.

Lepore uses the historical facts about family life, the decline of infant mortality, the decrease in family size, the liberation of women and the late age of having children as an explanation of why parenting has been identified as something separate from family life. But she dismisses these as really not an excuse for the invention of parenthood. Lepore concludes, “The thing is, we are in the midst of a long transition. But it is no happier for these books. You have a baby, I have a baby! Doesn’t that beat all? Well, yes it does. But I still miss adulthood.”

What Lepore minimizes in her historical account is the appearance of child psychology pediatrics and psychiatry as important contributors to our understanding of child development and parenting. She does mention G. Stanley Hall and the failed Child Study Movement and she also briefly alludes to Spock. But there is no mention of Freud, of Piaget, of Arnold Gesell and Erik Erikson , not to mention a century of research and theory about that provide solid clear guidelines for healthy and effective parenting practices.

My granddaughter has Down syndrome. Thanks to our new knowledge of this syndrome, her parents are able to give her all the special training she needed to maximize her abilities. At three she is talking in short sentences, riding a tricycle, swimming, and riding horse back. Like so many special needs families, Maya, and her parents have benefited greatly from what science has taught us about these children. Likewise, the educational adaptations for special needs children are but one of the many healthy innovations that have come from the theory and research about child development. We now know, for example, that authoritative parenting, setting limits with love, is the most effective and beneficial parenting style.

Lepore dismisses, “parenthood,” adolescence, the mid life crises as artifacts, and senior citizens are an interest group created to sell magazines and a wide variety of products. She suggests we don’t really need to think about these designations, just do our job, raise our children and get on with our lives without too much, to use her term, fuss. Life is, however, more complicated than that. Lepore herself makes the point that few contemporary parents have grown up in large extended families, and many have never held a baby before they become parents. These parents want and need to know about the normal patterns of child development, and effective strategies for dealing with the usual crises of each developmental stage. Would Lepore really deprive them of this information?

To be sure, parents love and commitment to their children can be, and is, exploited by the media, and promoters of a host of baby and child products that may have little, if any value. Religion is exploited as well, but should we give it up for that reason? Moreover, Lepore seems to ignore the fact that parenthood is special. Having a child is a unique experience, not the least because for the first time, we put someone else ahead of ourselves; indeed we would give our life for that person. And as parents we grow up with our children and attain skills and attitudes that we would never have acquired had we not been parents. Lepore apparently regards awareness of how and what we are doing as parents is unnecessary, just rely on your good old common sense.

Parenthood is, however, a very important and powerful reality, not an artifact.

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Lepore, J. (2009). "Baby Talk: The Fuss about Parenthood."; The New Yorker (7/3/2009).

Lewis, M. (2009). Home Game: An Accidental Guide to Fatherhood. New York, Norton.

Waldman, A. (2009). Bad Mother: A Chronicle of Crimes, Minor Calamities and Occasional Moments of Grace. New York, Doubleday.