We usually think of chores as only appropriate for school age children. But even young children can benefit from doing needed tasks around the house.

For young children to benefit from chores, however, two conditions have to be met:

1. the chores themselves have to be within the child’s range of abilities

2. the chores should build upon the child’s own motivations and not just upon the promise of rewards

Expecting young children to perform simple household chores is not an exploitation of slave labor, but it is perhaps the best way for young children to learn many important social skills.

Even two-year-olds can be expected to help around the house in some ways. Children at this age are very much into asserting their independence and autonomy from others, particularly parents. They do this by negativism and by the excessive use of “me” and “my.” But twos also like to feel important and needed and having them do chores can support and nourish these feelings. Although twos may not be tall enough to reach the table, by standing on a chair, they can help set the table by putting down the napkins and silver. It also rewards their pride in their ability to make discriminations if they are asked to sort articles of clothing into light and dark. Asking children to do chores should be in the tone of cooperation, “I could really use some help in setting the table or in sorting these clothes.” And praise should be of the same kind, “Thank you, that was really a big help.”

Preschoolers are very much into initiative and getting things going on their own. But they also like to feel like they are part of the family and doing meaningful things to help out. At this age, and again according to ability, children might be asked to set and/or clear the table; water household plants, feed the pet, make their beds, help sort and fold the laundry. It encourages children’s sense of initiative if they are allowed to choose the particular chore they will perform. Having a choice also gives them ownership of the task.

Engaging in chores has both immediate and long term benefits. The immediate benefits are the sense of accomplishment and good humor that children have from feeling that they are a contributing member of the family. The long range benefits were recently reported in a University of Minnesota study(1). The investigators reported that the best predictor of a young adult’s success in his or her twenties was having performed household chores at ages three and four. The measures of success were: completing education, starting a career path, IQ scores, and positive relationships with family and friends. The same results were not found for young adults who did not do household chores until they reached adolescence. These results suggest that there are many benefits from having young children participate in household chores.

There is, as always, a caution. As parents we have to be careful not to demand too much or to be overly concerned with how well the task was performed. Even if a bed is not made well, and a toy or two is not picked up, the important point is that the child worked at the chore. We shouldn’t expect perfection from young children but we should honestly value and appreciate their efforts.

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1. University of Minnesota eNews, October 17, 2002.