One of my preschool granddaughters recently began talking about what sounded to me like “Greasy Boy” a boy her age that kept bothering her when she was playing with her dolls. It turned out he was the one responsible for breaking one of them, and for cutting the hair off another. My son and daughter-in-law were a little concerned about this imaginary companion who was taking the fall for what were probably Heather’s own actions. I reassured them that imaginary companions were very healthy and often a sign of creativity. They also come in handy when children do not want to take responsibility for their own actions.

Although we have known about children’s imaginary companions for a long time, only recently have they come under scientific study e.g. (Taylor 2004). First of all these investigators make it clear that imaginary companions are not rare, as once thought, but are rather quite commonplace. Secondly such companions are in no way a sign of emotional problems. Indeed earlier studies have shown that children who have imaginary companions have better vocabularies and better social skills than do comparable children. Of course, not having an imaginary companion is not a handicap; some children may simply not need them.

In a longitudinal study (Taylor, et al) the investigators found that about two thirds of preschool children had an imaginary friend. These friends persisted into the school years. For some children, however, the first imaginary companion appeared after they had reached school age. Imaginary companions come in many different guises. One companion was Rose, an invisible 9 year-old squirrel. Another child’s companion, “Skateboard guy” lived in his friends pocket and occasionally did skateboard tricks. One child even inherited her imaginary companion, “Margarine” from her brother. “Margarine” first appeared as support for her brother on his first scary day of preschool.

Most imaginary companions serve useful purposes, either to take the blame, or to provide support, or simply to keep a child company when he or she feels alone. Most imaginary companions are given up during the school years. Some simply fade away while others may suffer a horrible demise like being run over by a car. The point is that imaginary companions are, for the most part, healthy inventions that are a sign of imagination and creativity. If your child has an imaginary companion, welcome it into the family and accept your child’s reality. Such companions give us that all too rare opportunity to enter into our child’s private world.

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Taylor, M., Carlson, S. M., Maring, B. L., Gerow, L., & Charley, C. (2004). "The Characteristics and Correlates of high fantasy in school age children: Imaginary companions, impersonation and social understanding." Developmental Psychology 40: 1173-1187.