It is well established that meeting our baby's physical needs is every bit as important as meeting their biological ones. Infants are social beings and they do best when they feel that their world is a safe, nurturing place they can trust and that their parents are trustworthy. Establishing this sense of trust is at the heart of attachment parenting. It is the approach that has been advocated by our most respected pediatricians such as Benjamin Spock (Spock & Needlman, 2004) and T. Berry Brazelton (Brazelton, & Sparrow, 2006). In many of my earlier blogs, I have suggested particular practices that are reflective of this approach. It might be well, however, to describe attachment parenting in a more general way.

Attachment parenting can be most easily described as “baby led” parenting. This approach starts from the assumption that each baby is unique and has his or her own pattern of habits and preferences. Attachment parenting means getting to know these habits and preferences and adapting our schedules to them. Benjamin Spock, the father of this approach, shocked parents of an earlier generation with his advice to breast-feed and to do so on demand--when the baby shows signs of hunger. Spock challenged the then conventional wisdom of imposing schedules on children. At that time many doctors discouraged breast-feeding and recommended a rigid four-hour feeding schedule. But Spock argued that a baby-led approach was particularly important during the first few months of life when the baby is not yet ready, or able to adapt to a schedule we would like to impose upon him or her. Such an approach does not mean that the first months are necessarily unpredictable and chaotic. Rather, it means, that feeding, sleeping, napping, playing follow the schedule suggested by the infant herself or himself. And even young infants do have schedules if we take the time and make the effort to observe them.

Spock anticipated the large body of contemporary research that has shown the importance of secure attachment between parent and child for healthy social, emotional and intellectual growth. T. Berry Brazelton, our contemporary Spock has made the same argument but based on a great deal of his own research and that of many others. It is important to emphasize the baby-led approach today because of the current over emphasis upon intellectual development in infants. Efforts in this direction mean that the parent is imposing his or her schedule on the infant. Such parenting runs the risk of undermining secure attachment and all the benefits, for both the baby and parent that such attachment carries with it.

Clearly as babies mature, they must necessarily begin to adapt to parental limits, often for their own good. But during the first few months of life, secure attachment is best established when we parents follow the baby's lead.

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Brazelton, T. Berry & Sparrow, Joshua D. (2006) Touchpoints: Birth to Three: Second Edition. Cambridge, MA. DaCapo Press.

Spock, Benjamin & Needlman, / Robert.(2004) Dr Spock's Baby and Child Care: Eigth Edition. New York: Pocket Books.